Okay, I have been very naughty. I need to go back and reread every freaking Monday Mantra I have written and then say to myself…“hey girl, practice what you preach”. So, I am one week into this marvelous new city: San Francisco! I'm kind of a Cali girl right now. Well at least a partial Cali girl. I kind of like the idea of being ½ NYC and ½ Cali girl. It’s the best of both worlds and kind of like being ½ Irish and ½ Dominican except, for the times when I have to apologize for the bad temper that this lethal combination has created. Yes I have a temper because I am human and there is plenty of shit I am working through #everydamnday. Anyway… as per usual, I digress. I have been naughty because I have not been taking my own advice of being in the present moment. Something amazing about switching from NYC to Cali is like all of a sudden life gets turned down a notch. I am kind of walking through life as if I just experienced the most epic svasana ever. For non-yogis it’s as if I am on xanax and for those of you who have never found themselves in need of a xanax (lucky you), I'm just slower. But slower in a very good way because I am not annoying everyone around me for being slow because they are all slow too. So you would think this is all good, right?
Well, I may have physically slowed down but the chatter in my mind is sprinting through the streets. I have only been here a week and I think I should have a million things settled by now. Like where am I working, where am I living, who’s coming to my birthday party in 2017 (I won’t have one this year because I don’t really know anyone yet). So this is all of the crap going on in my head while only being here one week. Meanwhile, I have gone on 2 interviews, I have inquired about teaching in two locations, I’ve hung out with 2 people who live here and I have made 2 new friends. That’s weird. As I wrote this down 1. I realize that everything seems to be happening in 2s for me and 2. I am an overachiever. I might as well have joined 2 charities and tried to run for local politics. WTF? I am worried that I won’t get shit done. Really? Something that hits me like a ton do bricks is something that my sage healer says (obsessed). He says, that I should know that I have worth for being absolutely still. For doing nothing. For simply being. It is in my “control patterns” to feel like I need to define every minute of my day and to create “worth”. Honestly, that’s kind of sad. A lot of us do it and I am not ashamed to share that. A lot of us feel like we need to define our worth by monetary compensation, the illusion of power, responsibilities and having every second of the day accounted for. This post is kind of therapeutic because every paragraph that passes I am thinking WOW I need to take it down a few notches. Even just one notch. This yogi needs to get yogi.
One of the things that becomes very clear to me is that it is hard for us to go beyond our comfort zones. You have your usual coffee, yoga, nail spot, etc. Whatever you need done, you have a place for it. We are kind of creatures of habit and sometimes we forget that there is a big bad world around us with plenty more to discover. In the midst of my madness, I have told myself to look at this as an adventure. The opportunity to explore new places, have no judgements and to build something new upon. This is actually an opportunity, I should feel reinvigorated instead of scared. This week, week 2 in good old San Francisco, I pledge to look at this as a beginning of a new life and to let all sorts of magical opportunities to unfold. I am obviously beyond my comfort zone already by being here, now I plan on diving in so I can let life begin.
xo